Dear Facebook Event Notifications: Please Go To Hell

Be honest.  Don’t lie…you used to love getting Facebook notifications.  Getting tagged in a photo, someone liking your Facebook comment or someone posting on your page (oh sorry, Timeline) – when that little red notification bubble popped up, YOU SECRETLY LOVED IT.  Don’t pretend like you didn’t at least enjoy it a little bit.  Lately though, that tiny bit of titillation you used to get from receiving a Facebook notification has certainly subsided.  Why, you ask?  Our love for that little red Facebook notification has all but disappeared due to our increasing frustration with the dreaded Facebook Event invite.  We receive double digit event invites on a daily basis and it’s annoying as all hell.  Facebook Events were once a useful tool.  But this atrocious Facebook feature seems to have lost any and all credibility.  And it’s not Facebook’s fault.  Facebook is not entirely to blame.  Sure their notification system is flawed; you can only adjust your email + mobile settings and not your actual page settings.  There are small fixes like having the ability to ignore invites from individuals.  But Facebook is not the enemy here.  YOU are the enemy.  You – the artist, the DJ, the self-proclaimed promoter – you are the reason why the good people of Facebook no longer enjoy seeing that little red notification bubble pop up on their Facebook page.

If you’re inviting 2000+ people to your event and 20 people have responded, this is a good indication of how little of a fuck anyone gives about Facebook Events anymore.  If individuals had the decency to be a little more selective about who they invited to their events, maybe people wouldn’t mind the invite so much.  But there’s nothing more agitating than receiving a Facebook Event invite from someone you’ve never met face to face whose event is in a different city than you.  I mean, seriously, what’s the point, Mr. (and Miss) DJ, of that?  And don’t get me wrong…most people don’t mind getting an invite from an established promoter or artist or a close friend.  They’ve earned the right to invite you to their event.  It’s the people that we don’t know, the complete strangers who have the audacity to continually invite us to their out of town gigs who piss us off the most.  Everyone knows up and comers have to start somewhere.  But don’t start your careers off by pissing people off.  Inviting the maximum amount of people to your 50 person local event is not the way to go.

For starters, DON’T FRIEND REQUEST SOMEONE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF INVITING THEM TO YOUR EVENTS.  That shit has to stop.  Yes, it’s easy enough to just deny someone the friend request.  But when you see that they have a ton of mutual friends, you are probably more inclined to accept the friend request.  If you’re in a band or are a DJ, have a little dignity and respect for yourself.  Stop friend requesting people from your personal page just so you can invite them to your events.  Create an artist page and let them come to you.  If you trust in your abilities as an artist and have faith that you are throwing solid events then people should want to come to them, right?  Create a page and build up a fan base and promote your events that way.  Don’t use your personal Facebook page to infiltrate people’s lives with your weekly events.

Also, what about your friends who aren’t even really into your scene?  I bet they secretly hate you for inviting them to shows they would never attend.  I bet there are some of you out there who are oblivious to the fact that you’ve sent someone in your friends list 20 event invites over the last year (month) of which that person has attended a grand total of ZERO.  So c’mon, don’t be lazy.  Take notice of who you’re inviting and take notice of who is actually attending.  If someone you used to date has been married for five years and has a kid with another one on the way, how bout you just let that person be?  Chances are, they ain’t comin’ to your Thursday 2-for-1 College Night.  Or what about your friend in AA who doesn’t go out quite as much as they used to?  Maybe stop inviting them, too (Again, 2-for-1s…not so effective in this case).

Look, we’re guilty of it, too.  Gotta Dance Dirty promote (the most awesome) events (in the world) all the time.  And of course everyone hypes up their event as the one not to miss out on.  But until Facebook gives us the option to turn off event notifications, let’s find other ways to promote our events.

For the time being, people hosting or performing at events should just steer clear from Facebook Event invites.  If you’re a DJ, band or promoter, just post a flyer on your personal page or your artist page.  That’s less intrusive and just as effective as anything on Facebook. Or you could go really old school and email people.  Whatever you do, just try something new & try something different that isn’t the annoying-as-hell Facebook Event invite.  The world would be a much better place if each and every one of us didn’t get a dozen Facebook Event notifications a day.  It all starts with everyone slowing down the usage (or cutting off the usage) of Facebook Events.  If everyone starts doing that and we start getting less and less invites then surely people will start to take notice and maybe, just maybe, we can get back to actually enjoying that little red notification bubble again.


Gotta Dance Dirty™

(I really hope all half a billion Facebook users read this so action is taken quickly…fingers crossed.)